Sometimes it's hard to grasp and digest just how tough it is to walk with the Lord, especially when it feels like He's not listening, or better put, not speaking to us. The first time I experienced this it was very upsetting. I was distraught and overwhelmed because I believed I had dome something wrong and had caused Him to turn His face away from me. Oh, how wrong I was. Getting to know His nature and how He works with us is a daily adventure and bitter-sweet, but super food for the spirit and soul when digested. I thank the Lord for how He has led me and continues to lead me, I thank Him for the gems and pearls of wisdom He provides everyday as I hunger for more of His Word and Guidance, and He gives it in abundance. I thank the Lord for His patience with me, His mercy, grace and forgiveness when my faith falters and I stumble and fall. I thank the Lord for how He picks me up every time, especially when I feel I don't have the strength to stand up.
In my article "Spiritually Sweet 2020" I wrote at length about how bitter-sweet this
walk is and shared some of my challenges which many of you can relate to. It is these challenging seasons that season us so as to be able to endure whatever the world throws at us. When the world gives us lemons we turn to the Word, which is Jesus Christ of Nazareth made manifest. Again, I am eternally grateful to the Lord for His wisdom in-filling me so that I understand what this means. The Lord's Wisdom is vast and totally transforming. He has transformed me in ways that are incomprehensible, considering where I come from. I was totally immersed in the counterfeit conditioning of the New Age worldview, which I lived, breathed and worked in for 25 years. I thank God daily that my name was on His "wake-up" list! For 50 years of my life I totally rejected anything religious, until I learnt that God isn't religion. I learnt that He is the light, the truth and the way, and without Him I
am empty. I truly am nothing without Him. This is a precious and priceless truth to know once you grasp what it means in essence. During my season of feeling distraught because God was supposedly not speaking to me I kept on asking why and wanted deeper understanding and answers. I wanted to restore myself in His good books. This was another powerful learning curve as I came to understand that during His silence I was never not in His good books. My lack of understanding was my enemy.
Through the moments of God's apparent silence I have learnt so much about Him and myself which brings me to what I want to share with you today, praying that it will touch you in the same way it did me. Never doubt God's silence as a rejection. Rather embrace those moments and have faith that He is at work in your life.
"Has God trusted you with His silence - a silence that has great meaning? God's silences are actually His answers. Just think of those days of absolute silence in the home of Bethany! (Read John Chapter 11 - The death of Lazarus) Is there anything comparable to those days in your life? can God trust you like that, or are you still asking Him for a visible answer? God will give you the very blessing you ask if you refuse to go any further without them, but His silence is the sign that He is bringing you into an even more wonderful understanding of Himself. Are you mourning before God because you have not had an audible response? When you cannot hear God, you will find that He has trusted you in the most intimate way possible - with absolute silence, not a silence of despair, but one of pleasure, because He saw that you could withstand an even bigger revelation. If God has given you a silence, then praise Him - He is bringing you into the mainstream of His purposes. The actual evidence of the answer in time is simply a matter of God's sovereignty. Time is nothing to God. For a while you have said, "I asked God to give me bread, but He gave me a stone instead" (see Matthew 7:9). He did not give you a stone, and today you find that He gave you the "bread of life" (John 6:35)
A wonderful thing about God's silence is that His silence is contagious - it gets into you, causing you to become perfectly confident so that you can honestly say, "I know that God has heard me." His silence is the very proof that He has. As long as you have the idea that God will always bless you in answer to prayer, He will do it, but He will never give you the grace of His silence. If Jesus Christ is bringing you into the understanding that prayer is for the glorifying of His Father, then He will give you the first sign of intimacy - silence." Oswald Chambers - My Utmost for His Highest.
This piece spoke to every part of my spirit and soul and I was able to rejoice in the deeper understanding of what He was doing - bringing me closer to Him in prayer, petition and thanksgiving (read Philippians 4:6-7) which is what I was meditating on and teaching in my spiritual warfare class with my group. I was having to put into practice what He was teaching us, even though I hadn't expected it to show up as it did. Through this time of learning through Him
I sought His face and wanted to understand and know why. He taught me so beautifully and it was through a deeply heart wrenching prayer and crying out to Him that He gave me the breakthrough. Because of my experience I fully know and trust that He will and is doing the same for you. We are His children and He will NOT forsake us if we call out to Him and genuinely seek Him - read Matthew 7:7-8. It's very easy to become overwhelmed and paralyzed by the despondency and discouragement we feel during these times. But don't give in nor give up. That's what God's eternal enemy wants us to do!
If you are in a season of silence, rejoice because God is trusting you to grow your trust and faith in Him and His faithfulness to always deliver no matter what it looks like from our limited perspective. He sees and knows everything. We cannot make the mistake of thinking that God sees things or thinks as we do. He is Almighty and greater than you and I could ever imagine! Don't give up because you think He's not listening or speaking to you. Pray even harder and ask Him to pull you closer so that you better understand what He is entrusting you with. He is the truth and will never let you down. And if you can't pray, then cry out Him to help you! He knows and sees what you're going through and has not abandoned you. He is molding you. He is the God of Goodness and will do nothing bad to you. Continue seeking Him with all your heart, spirit and soul and He will show you who He is and how much He loves you. We need to trust His timing ad season for our lives. God is not bound by time, space and matter as we are, and He always shows up in the perfect time in accordance with His Will and Plan for your life. May He continue to bless and teach us in His Sovereign style.
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